Internet
How Facebook Ended My Marriage
Today I discovered the danger of changing my Facebook profile.
My fiancee and I decided that showing our engagement in Facebook gave out a little too much personal information.
But I did not realize that unchecking “Thomas Crampton is engaged to Thuy-Tien Tran” would send a message to every Facebook friend that “Thomas Crampton and Thuy-Tien Tran are no longer engaged”.
A little broken heart accompanied the message in our newsfeed, for added emotion.
Within minutes an email arrived from a friend in San Francisco asking if I was doing ok and offering emotional support at this trying time.
A friend who has the number one blog in France, Loic Le Meur, posted the news on his Twitter feed, which has nearly 1,000 readers. Friends (and people we don’t even know) started discussing the situation without us knowing about it.
Suddenly I found myself explaining to people spanning nine timezones that we are, in fact, still engaged.
Then it occurred to me: Solve a Facebook problem with a Facebook solution.
I updated my Facebook status to read:
Thomas Crampton is still getting married, but decided to reduce personal info on facebook. Did not expect people to react thinking the ceremony was cancelled!!
Everyone linked to me in Facebook received the message and anyone visiting my profile can see it.
This blog posting should solve the problem, but so much for the privacy we sought!
Update: A very strange new twist has made this much more public than I ever feared. Boing Boing, the top blog on the Internet, Time Magazine’s blog, the London Standard, Libération the French newspaper founded by Jean-Paul Sartre, Fast Company have now all mentioned our experience. Is this the 21st century equivalent of a printed wedding announcement?
Update 2: Two very Amusing anti-Facebook videos.
The Evening Standard (London), June 25, 2007 Monday, A; Pg. 28,
Libération, Friday July 13, page 24
Technorati Tags: facebook, Loic Le Meur
Discussion
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Random Faceroll
well, it was all a facebook scare….
By the way… Mazal Tov !
Antisocial network effects! Anyway - congratulations to you both on the event and the “bug-fix”!
C’est incroyable cette histoire!
C’est vrai que le problème avec Facebook, c’est que tout le monde est au courant de ce qu’on coche et décoche… notamment concernant les informations personelles!
http://www.henrichatillon.com
[…] Crampton nutzt Facebook. Und seine Verlobte auch. Nun weiß er (und wir auch), was passiert, wenn man die Verlobung wieder wegklickt. Alle Freunde bekommen es […]
[…] cas est arrivé recemment à Thomas Crampton, occupant interimaire du blog de Loïc, et qui comme tout les américains assure une lassante […]
[…] Link. In other news, looks like some of Thomas’ friends need to learn how to STFU on Twitter. […]
[…] Link. In other news, looks like some of Thomas’ friends need to learn how to STFU on Twitter. […]
Why didn’t you simply change the privacy settings? That probably wouldn’t have sent any notifications.
hehehe… Two sides to every coin! Funny anyway now since you found a solution! You may have changed the expression “to fight fire with fire” with your “Solve a Facebook problem with a Facebook solution”…
Congratulations!
:D.
As an FYI, the inadvertent announcement of a ending relationship could have been prevented. Click on the top-right privacy link from anywhere in Facebook, then click Edit Settings for News Feed and Mini-Feed.
[…] 28th, 2007 Boing Boing posted a funny story about Thomas Crampton, who unchecked the engaged box in Facebook and unwittingly notified his entier social network that […]
I’ll echo Emmanuel - Mazel Tov. What a great reminder that we all should probably spend a bit less time staring at computer monitors and a bit more time talking to one another.
[…] Link. In other news, looks like some of Thomas’ friends need to learn how to STFU on Twitter. […]
[…] Link. In other news, looks like some of Thomas’ friends need to learn how to STFU on Twitter. […]
Shoulda used myspace, you would have had a new girl within an hour!
[…] How Facebook Ended My Marriage Heh. (tags: funny) […]
[…] How Facebook Ended My Marriage « Thomas Crampton - Media & Technology - But I did not realize that unchecking the box marked â
Kinda crazy
I did not knew that Facebook was sending such emails.
When I’ll divorce from Loïc, i’ll let you know j/k
[…] out some guy named Thomas Crampton decided his Facebook profile shared a bit too much public information. He and his fiance had […]
“You can’t do that in here! This is a broom closet!”
“But we’re engaged…”
“Well, disengage and get back to your posts!”
- Congress of Wonders
[…] How Facebook Ended My Marriage [image] Today I discovered the perils of changing my Facebook profile. My fiancee and I decided that showing our […] […]
With all due respect Mr Crampton but…
WHO GIVES A TOSS?
I do, frankly. It’s not an earth-shattering event, but it’s something that many people who use these sites are aware of, but haven’t been talking about - how online “social networking” can have unintended effects on your real social life. I’m sure lots of people have been in a similar situation.
[…] his private life in Facebook, the action of uncliking a little box “No longer engaged” created waves as the fly in Brazil (the Movie). It got most of his friends thinking he was breaking up his […]
[…] I came across this post by Thomas Crampton dating from approx a month ago. I remember seeing the update on Loic’s Twitter feed, but […]
Well its more of a mis-understanding from FaceBook newbies or a group freudian mishap?
Would you publish your lifes intimate details in the paper, just because it was free or easy? Some would, but the rest should take ownership of what they do with the internet..
[…] außer dass der Facebook-Nutzer in Erklärungsnot gekommen ist und nun aller Welt in seinem Blog mitteilen muss, dass seine Beziehung vollkommen intakt ist. Veröffentlicht Donnerstag, 2. […]
[…] par Fred Cavazza ou bien par l’influence sur la vie privée de Thomas Crampton qui avait, par un quiproquo, fait croire à ses amis que son mariage était […]
[…] Pour le simple utilisateur que je suis, prêt à accepter une petite tolérance liée à la visibilité de mes données personnelles mises en ligne, cela n’est toutefois pas bon signe. Le commentaire de Brandee n’apporte aucune réassurance bien au contraire. S’il y a un bug, il y en surement d’autres - c’est dans l’ADN des start-ups - et les restrictions légales sur le fait de partager un code source sont insuffisantes au regard des défis que se mettent les hackers. Cela s’ajoute à des analyses qui démontrent que la structure même de Facebook peut conduire facilement à des abus ou des confusions dans l’utilisation. Vous pouvez ainsi lire l’analyse sur le weblog de Luc Legay : “Comment j’ai spammé plus de 500 personnes « grâce à » Facebook”. Vous pouvez aussi vous reportez à l’experience personnelle assez médiatisée de Thomas Crampton : “How Facebook ended my marriage”. […]
[…] The Facebook model affirms extroversion. Even if you are the sort to have only a few good friends in your life, that attitude will not get you far on Facebook. How can you tell? Well, look at how the Facebook application assumes you want more friends. Not only that — it assumes that your friends want the same Facebook applications. It even assumes that when you remove a relationship detail on your profile, it’s because of a breakup. […]
[…] Crampton nutzt Facebook. Und seine Verlobte auch. Nun weiß er (und wir auch), was passiert, wenn man die Verlobung wieder wegklickt. Alle Freunde bekommen es […]
[…] Facebook Ended My Marriage: http://www.thomascrampton.com/2007/06/15/how-facebook-ended-my-marriage/ « előző | Hello Szabi! — 2007. 10. 08. […]
The Twitter guy? Not so much of a friend.
facebook is like a sticky icky poop trap.
it seems cool and useful until you realize that everything you put on there is now their info to sell to anyone.
you cant even delete your profile. and info that has been put on in the past stays with them forever.
id say just quit now to avoid any more of your data being sold or exploited.
[…] story, picked up from my blog posting on the incident, has been written about by a number of blogs and […]
[…] It’s a little invasive […]
[…] Facebook has become part of the fabric of many user’s lives. Thomas Crampton writes “How Facebook Ended My Marriage” and illustrates how powerful the social networking tool has become in the lives of those who […]
[…] married to funkybrownchick.’ It would be ‘true’ just because it was on Facebook. That’s how powerful that site has become.” He slid his glasses further up his face, flashed his sexy dimples with a smile and said, […]
you should share your story on http://www.cancelyourfacebook.com
1. why the fuck would someone who doesn’t have a relationship want to read about someone who does and bitches about it and blame others for his failure?
2. wah
…and now it’s been Stumbled.
That is rather ironic how much attention this has been getting.